Breakup Buddy



If you’re reading this chances are you’re

A) Going through a breakup

B) About to breakup

C) Just stalking my blog, in which case, carry on.

I know you must feel like you’re dying right now but the good news is theres light at the end of the tunnel. Sometime’s people change, sometimes things dont end up the way you wish they would. If you’re feeling like your ex, or other half doesnt love you. Chances are they probably dont. When someone loves you they do everything in their power to show you. This is something both you the reader and I the writer, know. Yes it sucks, it sucks to always feel like your’e second best. Just because the person you’re inlove with now doesnt see your worth, doesnt mean you’re not the special sparkly flower that you are. You are a badass. One day somebody will come along and love you the way you deserve to be loved. But you’re never going to experience that if you’re still hungover somebody who’s not giving you what you deserve.

“Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you cant make salad out of chicken shit, Feel free to apply that wisdom to your bad relationship”.

A while ago i ordered a book called, “its Called a Breakup because its Broken” , yes the title is pretty self explanatory.

Its not just any old book, its the funniest book ive read in a long time, and here are some quotes to cheer you up and shed light on the situation you’re experiencing.

“Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that — wasted time”.

If you’ve been treated like crap and you ended the relationship and are now sitting there wondering why he didnt come after you, or why he didnt care. Chances are ‘he broke up with you months ago and let you do the dirty work’. Yes we’ve all been through it. “Its a weird passive aggressive trick men have perfected for centuries. Chances are he didnt want to hurt your feelings, so he behaved in a way that would make you breakup with him. I call this the Backhanded Breakup”. Women may ofcourse too do this.

Also stop checking his or her social media. Because the next thing you know you’re going to end up outside his or her house with your binoculars, like me. Just kidding, im not that crazy.. or maybe iam.

“What did heartbroken people do before phones? Come home and stare at the mailbox?” If he wanted to be with you, he’d text you and he’d call you to let you know. Checking your phone isnt going to make him magically want to call you and start crying about how sorry he is. It wont even make him stand outside your house and serenade you. This is real life not a movie. Put down your phone, and be the badass that you are. Occupy your time with something thats worth your time.

“Its and odd thing to think about but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of oreos? Chain-smoke, pop pills, get stoned or f*ck around? NO YOU WOULDNT. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life”.

“Awesome thought: Your new boyfriend isnt standing outside your ex-boyfriends apartment building, so you shouldnt be either”.



All quotes used belong entirely to authors Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola Behrendt.

Image sourced from














Ethics matter in flower shops.

Who would think that people are cautious about where they get their flowers simply because of where they are exported from. According to a local flower shop owner people are less likely to buy flowers imported from Israel. The owner also has to be as ethical and as fair as he can be in importing his flowers and therefore claims to do his research before ensuring that the environment in which the flowers grew took care of its workers as well as the flowers themselves. The beautiful multi coloured flowers which he sells need to be injected with some sort of dye while they are still little buds. Doing this at home would of course shorten the plants life but these flowers last up to 3 weeks. The owner  has also planted flowers around the train station as well as having his own stand. I know where im going whenever i need flowers!


Nail Polish for 35p?

I was looking around in Superdrug the other day and spotted the ‘B’ range. I’m not sure if it was on offer or if it was the actual price of the nail polish but either way its a bargain right. I only picked up one to try it just incase the quality was rubbish and all. After trying it i was pleasantly surprised! I will definitely be going back to try the rest of the colours. It does however require a couple of coats.  This is the shade 027 innocence, incase anyone wants to try it.

Sleep Paralysis: What Does Science Say?


So here it is, the first time I ever go public about something that has been driving me insane for years. This is something I’ve had to battle ever since I was a little girl, something that made me feel like I was going crazy at one point. I’d like to share my experiences for those of you who are out there suffering from the same ‘nightmare’. From as far as I remember my sleep paralysis started when I was 11.


I have so many questions but not enough answers. After experiencing sleep paralysis more frequently I decided to do my own research upon it. Before I go into that id like to share some short episodes of sleep paralysis that I experienced.


It is so utterly confusing to explain because whenever I’ve gotten sleep paralysis I have never remembered going to sleep at all. One minute id be lying there with my eyes open feeling like I was being watched and then id suddenly become paralysed. During these episodes I could not talk or move. Well recently when I turned 19 my sleep paralysis had gotten worse and worse. During the year 2015 id rearranged my room, placing my bed beside my wardrobe mirror. Which meant that I could see myself sleeping. One night I was lying in my bed when I realised I was paralysed. During this episode I heard machinery, metal chains being pulled, almost as if I was in some sort of factory. There was a very loud ringing in my ears and I could feel my head in pain. Since my eyes were the only thing I could move, i caught sight of myself in my wardrobe mirror. Behind my bed where the headboard is I very clearly remember seeing a very tall, thin shadow. This looked like it was hitting something off of my head, the shadow looked like it was almost sort of vibrating. Once I managed to snap out of this episode I had a migraine the entire day. Sometimes whilst experiencing sleep paralysis id feel hands on my stomach, warm hands, I would hear laughing sometimes. Sometimes id even see my sister walk in and out of my room. However the more frequently this happened I realised that this was not my sister at all. I would see my sister facing the other way and never see her face. What’s even more baffling is that I would be able to distinguish whether these ‘shadow people’ or ‘demons’ were female or male. Even though sometimes I didn’t see anyone in my room I still felt like I was being watched, like there was someone in my room.


So after doing my own little bit of research, I found that science explains a person is waking up while the body is still asleep. So the REM overlaps the stages of waking up. The body is usually shut off whilst a person is sleeping, this is so that we do not act out our dreams…. Because that would be dangerous. Science does not know why this itself happens. Science explains that because we feel as if there is a presence in the room, we make it a reality due to the fear we experience. Which is basically saying that a hallucination is caused by a hallucination. Makes no sense does it? But where does this fear of a person/ demon being in the room come from in the first place? It has to come from somewhere. A theory is that when a person wakes up paralysed they get scared which activates the threat activated vigilant system. For example if you heard something scary you would be on high alert until you determine whether there is an actual threat or not. However what about those who feel a presence in the room first and then get paralysed?


“Scientists using neuroimaging techniques saw that the amygdala (part of the brain) was activated with people having sleep paralysis. They reasoned that this area of the brain was essentially malfunctioning during sleep paralysis. They theorised that the threat activated vigilant system is not able to find a real threat so it creates one. That is the felt presence which would cause the other hallucination.”

-Stopping Sleep Paralysis

They made this claim just by knowing that the amygdala was active during sleep paralysis. However they don’t know whether the feeling of a presence in the room is what comes first or as a result of the first hallucination. Like I said, there may be a real threat in the room which causes this part of the brain to become active. If fear is what causes these hallucinations then what about those who say that they experienced sleep paralysis only after they heard or felt someone in the room. Also what causes people all around the world to see the same ‘shadow people’. I don’t know about you but all this is baffling. What about those who have out of body experiences?


There are so many theories out there however we can never be certain of what Is right or wrong. Everything I have mentioned in this article is merely a theory. Scientists until this day do not know what the sole cause of sleep paralysis is. If you’re experiencing this phenomena I will leave some links below which will help you to better understand the situations.


Channel 4 Documentary : The entity is also worth a watch, available on Youtube.


The Shadow People is a movie made about sleep paralysis and again is just all built from theory however very interesting.


There is a book available on sleep paralysis in the link below*Version*=1&*entries*=0



i’am an outcast in a country that i was born in.

i’am an outcast in a country that i was born in and i’am open handedly accepted into a country i have offered nothing to. Growing up brown in england in the 90’s was not how it should have been for any child my age. i was 6 when i encountered my first racist attack.

i was holding my mothers hand whilst walking down the street on the way to my aunts house. i was carrying a battered old teddybear and wearing my prettiest little bangles. a group of white teenagers looked like they were just about to walk past us. my mother looking down to the ground continued to walk and mind her own business. i continued to skip down the road, her hand in mine. just as our paths crossed theirs, i looked up to find one of them pull my mothers hijab from her head. as a child i could not do anything but grasp my mothers hand tighter. she was spat on, humiliated and verbally abused.

“what are they doing to mum? what are they doing? don’t cry mum. why are we going home mum? what did we do? what were they shouting? “.

Watching my mother cry all the way home i felt helpless. why did they hate us. what did we do to them. was it because we did not look like them? what was so wrong with us.

when i was 7 my sister was born. Me alongside my mother and my sister in her push chair were just about to cross the road when a rock hit my mothers head. i turned back to find a group of sniggering teens laughing at their doing. My mum started to pick up her pace and walk faster.”don’t look at them” she said. “it hurt me mum, they’re hitting me, it hurts” i began to squeal. what could we have done, where could we have gone, we were being followed. we were physically abused. whom were we to complain to? my mother tongue was never english. were we to go to the police? why would they care. we weren’t white. we weren’t one of them. we weren’t important. for several years we kept quiet. we were afraid to go out without my father. we were afraid of the country we were living in. we were made to feel disgusting for being brown. “dirty pakis” they called us. Today I’m 20. my mother is taking english classes. just to fit in, just to feel accepted. just because of the grief she has gotten for being asian. Do you think i don’t notice the way my mother is still treated differently when we’re out shopping. do you think i don’t notice the snide remarks and the muttering when I’m out with my mother. don’t you dare tell me that racism doesn’t exist anymore. it very much does. just not as it did before. i have grown up in a white mans world with brown skin.

They would tell me that i smelt of curry, today the tikka masala is a national dish.

They told me i was dirty because i was brown. Today they spend hundreds of pounds on fake tans.

i’am still an outcast in a country that i was born in. It was here that i had my first grazed knee. it was here that my dad taught us how to ride a bike. it was here that i made my first best friend. so don’t you dare tell me to go back to where i came from. My parents and my grandparents went through far more than i did, just to make sure i had better living standards. just to make sure i had a roof over my head. just to make sure i went to university. They worked just as your parents did.

we had nothing.

now we have everything.